Sleeping Horses

One of the things that was the easiest for me to observe when I was living in the field for four days was the sleeping patterns of Pollyanne and Hazel.  I was probably particularly interested in this because it presented an opportunity for me to sleep, although many times I was so busy taking photos or writing down times I forgot to actually sleep. To set the scene Hazel is a pretty healthy horse with no obvious health problems and Pollyanne is quite the opposite.  She has many aches and pains, suffers a lot more from the cold and does not seem to be able to lie down properly. So there were plenty of differences between the two.

The first thing that I learned was that they slept for an average of 5 hours and 20 minutes over each 24hour period.  When I say slept I am including snoozing and deeper sleeping into this.   However the amount of time they slept in each day was quite different and seemed to be affected by the weather.  The shortest amount of sleep they had in 24hours was 3hr 30mins and the longest was 7hrs 44mins.   The longer sleeping times seemed to correspond to days when there was wetter weather.   And when they slept longer they did most of it at night time between about midnight and 5 am.  On the days when the weather was good there was no particular tendency to sleep more at night time. Overall Hazel and Pollyanne tended to sleep at least every 3 hours.

For most of the sleeping sessions the girls would sleep together.  As one started to snooze the other would join

Hazel in her tango pose

in usually within a few minutes, but sometimes it might take a bit longer.  However there were a couple of times when Pollyanne decided that she was having extra sleep due to heavy rain and then the two girls would be out of kilter with each other for a few sleeps and not end up sleeping at the same time for a while.  It seemed to work itself out though, so the general preference was always to revert to sleeping together.

When Hazel and Pollyanne slept they would be much closer to each other than when they were eating.  Typically they would stand with about 2 or 3 metres.  Where as when they were grazing they could be anything up to 70 metres away and rarely closer than 5.  They definitely had favourite spots to sleep in.  During the day there were two exact spots that they would go back to and both were up against the hedges.  At night time they were more enclined to go into the added on gravel area at the top of the field which is very sheltered. And overall the spots seemed to correspond also with areas of bare, dry soil.  I am certain that one of these was as a result of constant rolling in that spot.

They did sleep with their backs to the hedges some times but certainly not all the time.  Sometimes they faced each other and other times they looked the same way.  They stood parallel to the hedging and sometimes faced it but this was less frequent.

What surprised me most was the amount of time that Hazel spend sitting down.  I haven’t counted up the times exactly but she probably spent on average 2.5 hours sitting down on any one day.  During this sitting down time she definitely started to dream, her muzzle twitched, her ears rotated around quickly, her head swayed as she rest her nose on the ground and her legs twitched.  She sometimes “talked” in her sleep, uttering faint whinnies or other sounds.  And a slightly odd thing was that she tended to dream with her eyes open.  Inside their sockets her eyes would dart all over the place betraying a fast moving dream, but the lids were mostly open.  Pollyanne dreamed too but this was generally when she stood up as she couldn’t sit down comfortably.  So she would start to dream and in the process would start to fall over.  It seems that if you are dreaming you should be lying down.  Pollyanne also talked in her sleep and whinnied very loudly in her sleep at one point, startling herself and Hazel in the process.  Who knows what she was living through in her mind at that moment.

Over the whole 4 days I only saw Hazel lie down fully on three occasions.  These only lasted about 2 or 3 minutes and when she was lying down she was going full pelt in dream land.  I was seriously expecting her to take off at a horizontal run at one point.  The slightest sound made her jump up and resume her sitting pose which seemed to be less affected by strange noises.  Pollyanne only lay down fully for about 10seconds over the whole 4 days and like Hazel she was going for it in her dreams.

All the time that Hazel and Pollyanne slept they were fully aware of the flies that landed on them, and twitched them off even in their deepest of sleeps.

On waking Hazel would nearly always have a roll, get up and shake.  Whereas Pollyanne would just to the shake thing.  There was obviously lots of licking and chewing afterwards accompanied by yawns and stretches galore.  While I was there I observed several stretches that I had not seen before but I only managed to capture one.  Pollyanne would always, stick one back leg right out behind her in the air, arch her head towards her chest and suddenly transform into something akin a muscular tango dancer.  She would utterly transform and seemed like a different horse.  Hazel would often just to the arching of her head to her chest, along with the general sudden shape transformation, but sometimes she would stretch her head right down the to ground and to her own version of the tango leg pose.

There is probably a lot more to be learned about their sleeping habits and it how is changes over the seasons and other weather patterns.  As a result of seeing how severe Pollyanne’s inability to sleep properly we are making a very special effort to help her out and will be trying to alleviate any pains or fears that she may have.  It cannot be good for her to never get the deep sleep that she desperately needs.  It is a bit of a catch 22 situation.  If she is to heal she needs to sleep, but she needs to heal in order to sleep.  If you have any ideas on how Pollyanne can be helped be sure and leave a comment here.  I sure she will appreciate it

Sharing Space

So I have rested, showered and eaten well. My back feels better than it has done in months and my head is clearer and more comfortable than it has been in years.  It turns out there is a spa resort come meditation retreat just on our doorstep.  It is free, only takes 20 seconds to get to and requires no specialised equipment.  It is tailor made to suit my own particular requirements and I can take the dogs and cats.  I don’t need to leave the horses unattended and my husband can come and visit me whenever he feels he needs a hug.  And the best bit is that I can have top up sessions any time I want.

I’ve been sitting here for an hour trying to put into words what it is that I learned over the four days, what is was that came together in the last 30 minutes with Hazel and Pollyanne and I have been at a loss.  The truth is that I still don’t fully understand it myself and that it may be forever impossible to put into words.  What I do know is that horses are always ready to be deeply connected to us, but they express that connection in a way that most humans probably do not understand.  It took me four days to sense the almost invisible but constant stream of connection that they are ready to share.  I don’t know how I felt it or what is really is but from now on I know that I merely need to share space with the girls in order to speak their language of connection.

When I went back out to say hi to Hazel and Pollyanne after having some much needed sleep on the couch Hazel did not come running over to me, Pollyanne barely lifted her head but I didn’t mind in the slightest.  The relief of knowing that I don’t need to do anything more than share space with them is wonderful.  By doing this I am respecting their world, and their way of doing things and I think that there is nothing more important than that.  I simply pottered around the field absorbing the peace and steadiness that emanates from horses.  No expectations clouded my mind or blocked what was freely being given.  As I said, I still really do not understand what this is all about but I can feel it and that is what matters.

I no longer feel that desperate need for validation, for a public display of love from either of them.  I trust them and their way of being and as a result I can now trust mine.  They will continue to draw me into their world and share their way of being and in the process I will continue to find myself.   Maybe one day I can put it into words, but for now I am content and that is good enough.

Getting Ready to Leave.

Last night was a night of lots of sleep, mainly for the horses.  And now they are sleeping again.  I’m sitting on a tyre in their gravel area which is attached to the field and I am realising that I am nearly finished my “Living in the Field” project.   In 4.5 hours time I will be able to go to bed, or have my lunch inside, or just sit on the couch.  I am looking forward to that but I am a little bit sad too.   Hazel has become used to the fact that I am here all the time and when I left for a toilet break a short time ago she whinnied.  From inside the house I could hear her saying “where are you?”

Hazel has never been one for hugs and big shows of affection but I am beginning to realise that doesn’t mean she has no interest in us.  I have been absolutely certain that Hazel has been very pleased to have had me around so much, but I can’t really say why I know it.  I just sense that to her it is right that I am out here, with her where I belong.  During the four days of being out here I have made very little direct contact with Hazel, preferring to adopt the etiquette of the group rather than imposing my desire to stroke and be told “I love you”.  But I have still become a lot more closely attached to Hazel.  I understand her better and I can see the little signs that are her way of say “hey, you’re not so bad”.

If there is one thing that I have learned from being out here is that  being connected or bonded to some one is not about public displays of how great you think the other some one is.  It is about sharing space, hearing the same sounds and checking in with each other to make sure it’s nothing too unusual.  It is about sheltering together, sleeping together and moving through the field together.  It is about challenging each other to make sure we all stay strong as a group, playing occasionally and having the odd scratch together.  It is about whinnying when one of the group is not there and just saying “you shouldn’t be gone, you should stay with the group.  Where are you?”.

For the last three years Hazel has been a huge source of teaching and inspiration.  There is something rock solid about her that just keeps making me bounce back when I have veered off course.  She is always there, waiting for me, waiting until I can see that I don’t need to work at bonding with her.  The bond is there, I just have to recognise it.

She is happy for me to be in her band and I wonder how she will take it when I leave again in a few hours.  Knowing Hazel she will understand and just wait for me to come back.

Sleeping Under the Stars…

…or the clouds as the case may be.  Even though I did a lot of outdoor sports many years ago I have never slept out in the open before.  I always wondered what it would be like and as this is what Hazel and Pollyanne do all the time I was particularly anxious to try it out.  With me I have a sleeping mat and a sleeping bag and at night time I put on extra clothes.  Because Hazel and Pollyanne move around a lot and do not always sleep in the same place I am sometimes caught out without my sleeping bag at night time when they decide that they fancy a snooze.  Instead of going back over the field and getting my mat or bag I have been just lying down on the ground and nodding off on the grass.

It’s surprisingly comfortable and the only thing that concerns me is that I may be still asleep when Hazel decides she is done and trots off.  I know she can see me but I try to find a little nook to slot into out of harms way anyway.  Probably because of sleep deprivation I am now finding it very easy to drop off in the strangest of places.  During my last little snooze I was surpsised to hear a man talking to some one on a radio programme, out of the blue.  “Mmm, I recognise that voice” I thought, “but hey, why can I hear a radio?”  Well I seemed to be dreaming and still awake, just for a moment.  Once I got over my surprise I dropped off properly within seconds.

Last night there was a bit of rain while I slept and so drops of water were falling on my face while I lay there.  I thought to myself that Hazel and Pollyanne regularly have to put up with this but the fact that their eyes are not staring straight up to the sky when they sleep probably helps.  Also, their ears do not act like reservoirs and collect water just in case there is a water shortage later on.   They also sleep with their bums to the wind and this is something I haven’t even bothered trying.   I would feel much too ridiculous and I think I would just fall over anyway.

A large portion of their time asleep is spent standing up so this means they do not loose very much heat through the soil, as I did the first night when I forgot my sleeping mat.  Hazel will sleep for a portion of the time with her body on the ground and prefers dry bare soil than grass or gravel for this purpose.   Once the sleeping is over it is straight back into eating.   My mind boggles at what it would be like to eat for most of the day.  But as they have evolved to do this I am sure that it feels like the most perfect thing in the world.

I have one night left and I am looking forward to it.  I think I would prefer if it didn’t rain but I came out here to see what Hazel and Pollyanne’s world is like, not to go on a summer holiday, so whatever comes I will take and enjoy.

Some Photos from Day 3

Hazel eating thistles, carefully

Pollyanne licking and chewing after a snooze

Neo exploring the hedgerows

Hazel stretching after a long sleep

Neo creeping up on Hazel

Learning About Horses

I’m nearly done with two days of living in the field and I’ve definitely learned a thing or two about horses while I’ve been out here.  I feel like I am gradually getting into the vibe of how things are done out here.  Yesterday I was wondering to myself why I decided to stay out for 4 full days, surely 2 would have been fine.  But today I am realising that I need to stay out the full four days in order to really click into things out here.  I am coming from a very different world than the one Hazel and Pollyanne inhabit and it will take a while to leave it behind.

The first thing that I was wondering about when I came down here was should I do all the time.  Should I walk around with them, sit down or whatever.  Well, what I have realised is that the only important thing is to stay within about 50 metres while Hazel and Pollyanne are grazing.  It doesn’t really matter what I do but I need to stay within this zone in order not to be disruptive to the girls.  If I wander out of this zone they wonder where I am going, what I have found or seen and they may follow me or just look at me.  They do not graze particularly closely to each other, the closest being about 3 metres but more usually they are about 6 to 20 metres from each other.  If one of them moves beyond the roughly 50 metre zone the other one will follow.  It doesn’t seem to matter which one it is that leads or follows.

Yesterday I decided to take some photos as a way of entertaining myself and I started trying to take a close up shot of Pollyanne.  I was about 1.5metres from her and I suddenly felt as if I was being incredibly invasive.  As I said, when grazing they never seem to come closer than 3 metres and here I was, during grazing time, 1.5 metres from Pollyanne.  What was I doing?!  I did not get the slightest sense that Pollyanne was feeling threatened by me, but I felt that she was wondering what on earth I was doing.  It reminded me of being on a computer at home or in an office, typing away.  If some one, anyone, comes up behind you and just stares at the screen it is some how quite off putting.  I do not feel as if I am going to be killed or severely endangered but I do feel uncomfortable.  I am not expecting the person to do this and I am not sure what response I should have.

There is a lot of talk about the fact that horses are prey animals and if we are to believe it it seems like they are living in a perpetual state of fear, where everything is that proverbial lion in the bushes.  I really do not believe this but I am beginning to see why we may have misinterpreted things.  I could sense that I was being invasive when I was too near Pollyanne and I could have easily put a predator-prey slant on things when explaining this, but it is quite easy to find an equivalent situation between two humans both of whom are supposed predators.  Does this mean that I feel like a prey animal when my husband looks over my shoulder while I’m on the computer?  I don’t think so.  I am not in fear but I am registering behaviour that is undesirable, because when I am stared at I start to type badly. Some how it is inappropriate, not expected. There is a difference between something that is annoying and something that is perceived as life threatening and I think that horses can tell the difference.  There is not a lion in every shrub as far as they are concerned.  If one came out of our hawthorn bushes they would sure as hell run, but if a faint rustle is heard in there, they may take a moment to see what it is and wander along again.  Same as me.

For now I’d better go over to Pollyanne.  She is snoozing and during this time the distances between us all seem to shrink to about 1.5 to 5 metres.   Hazel has just sat down so I think I will do the same.  Bye for now.

So How Does This Work?

Well, I am living outside 24hrs a day for 4 days.  I can however go in for two 15 minute breaks per 24hrs.  For example I went in at 11.30 this morning to have a shower, brush my teeth and change clothes etc, but apart from that I am outside hail, rain or snow.  I am having all my meals outside and these are kindly provided my Chris who is ferrying all sorts of refreshments down to me.  Thanks! I am promised ice cream soon…yay.

We have a polytunnel in the field and in this I have stashed water, juice, fruit, torches, coats, a sleeping bag that I have not used yet and other little bits and pieces.  This is great because it means that I don’t have to drag everything around with me and it all stays dry.

Me(Maria) and Pollyanne chilling out

I am generally following the two girls around the field but I am stopping here and there to post here and check emails etc.  I can still see them and am in the field with them but they are a little further away now.  They keep walking from one end of the field to the other covering the whole thing over and over again and then every few hours it is snooze time – yay.  This is my favourite bit at the moment but sometimes I sacrifice my snooze so that I can take photos or video of Hazel and Pollyanne while they sleep.  I wonder will I still be doing that tomorrow.

Wandering around the end of the field

The snooze moment catches on

Molly our little black

Me trying to instigate a general snooze

dog had to be sent in last night as she was getting tired and even though she didn’t want to leave my side I think she was relieved when she got into her bed.  So Melissa, the cat, took her place and being beside me all the time.  She did a very good job so well done to her.

Overall I have an open mind about what it is that I am trying to observe or learn.  So I am keeping notes mainly of when the girls sleep, drink, roll and groom.  Their routine with grazing is fairly simple so I am not bothering to log this – it’s up and down, up and down, up and down in seemingly random zig zag paths.  I think I am just trying to absorb information and see where it goes from there.

When I am sleeping I am simply lying down on a sleeping mat and at night time I have lots of clothes on.  I may not use my sleeping bag because it is a bit cumbersome but we will see later on what happens.

And that’s about it.  Oh, Pollyanne has disappeared…oh no, she is just behind some really tall nettles.

Charlie keeping me company

Equine Sleep Disorder

Poor Pollyanne has trouble lying down and you will rarely see her sit down or lie down to sleep.  As a result of this she doesn’t get enough deep

sleep and so, as she stands and drifts into a snooze she may begin to fall over.  After a few minutes of snoozing she may begin to rock backwards and wake up suddenly and re-adjust herself.  In other words because she can’t lie down for a deep sleep her body tries to slip into a deep sleep while standing but this causes her knees to buckle and for her

to generally loose balance. This is called equine sleep disorder as far as I can tell.  I managed to catch a small bit of video of her doing this today so I will post that when I finish the project and go back into the house on Saturday.

Pollyanne stretching forward while sleeping

She seems to suffer with pain in her back and although we have been working with Pollyanne to help the various aches and pains that she has as a result of her traumatic past, she still never seems comfortable enough to lie down.  We have often wondered whether she might lie down when we are not there, but last night she demonstrated that she will nearly fall over again and again and will not lie down.  For three hours she rocked, slipped backwards, woke up and started the process again.  She never sat down.  I felt so sorry for her.  She is desperate for a good sleep and who knows when was the last time she had one.

Even on the odd occasion that she does sit down she keeps falling over, her head wanting

Pollyanne falling backwards. This is a mild rock back

to lay flat on the ground so that she can just have those few minutes of deep REM sleep.  But she keeps popping back up again.   She drops for a split second and then the head is up.  On two occasions we have seen her have about 45 seconds of sleep.

I counted every second knowing that each one would do her good.  I really hope that in time she will find herself comfortable enough to rest.  She could do with it.

The First Morning has Come…

..and the first night has gone, thank god.  I have to admit that I was very close to going back to the house to my very comfy bed this morning.  It is now 9am and I feel a lot better but around 7.30am I was wondering what the hell I was doing.  I was feeling a bit weird after having an hour or two of very light snoozing, it was dull and misty and the grass was really wet.  I cheated and had another snooze in a clump of rushes even though Hazel and Pollyanne were still eating, but when I woke up about 20 minutes later Hazel was asleep a bit further up the field and so I joined them up there.  I fell asleep again but woke up to the sounds of Hazel muttering in her sleep.  She was uttering a low “Hmph hmph” as she dreamed but of course the moment I moved and tried to get the video camera she sat right up.

Being out in a field with two horses at night time was quite interesting because the minute they stopped moving and eating grass they effectively disappeared.  Even though there was a moon out Hazel was well able to disappear into the night.  Pollyanne however stood out for up to 75 metres away.  This field that we are in now is about 2.5 acres and at the top of it we have a little section that we have added on and put gravel down into.  This is very well sheltered and is close up to the house.  It was interesting that they didn’t go near this area all day yesterday but they spent most of the dark part of the night in here.  This was fine with me as it was a bit more comforting than being out in the open countryside with all the weird noises that go along with it.  At least on the gravel area I could hear anyone who moved and so I could lie down happily enough, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn’t be stepped on.

When the sun came up Pollyanne left the gravel area first and then Hazel reluctantly followed.  It is interesting that although Pollyanne is a lot smaller than Hazel and is always the first to move out of her way, it was Hazel who followed Pollyanne in and out of the “snooze zone”.  I’ve noticed this before that Hazel will follow Pollyanne around, but she will also push her around.  Also, I found that Hazel followed me at times if I went off in another direction.   She is quite a pushy horse but I got the distinct impression last night that she really wanted me to stand close beside her while she snoozed.

So at the moment I am full of enthusiasm again, but I have a feeling tomorrow morning will be even harder.  I thought it would be the nights that were the worst, but I think it will be the dawns that rattle me. So I need lots of lots of encouragement to keep going.  It makes such a difference when I get words of support and people have begun donating to project.  I am fundraising for four animal rescues, all of whom have equines and all of whom really do need support.   Please do contribute anything at all to this project.  You can visit the paypal link in the right hand column and donate a euro or a dollar or whatever you can spare.  It will make a difference to the lives of horses and it will make a difference to me as I sit here wet, uncomfortable and tired over the next three days.  Thanks so much for your support so far.

Ten Hours In

So 10 hours have passed and it certainly doesn’t feel like it.  The light is starting to fade here but I think I will be able to see clearly enough for another hour.  It’s 10pm here and so far there has been no rain.

I’ve been trying to decide what my approach to this project should be and one thing I have decided is that it will not be a scientific approach.  Scientists try to remain seperate from whatever it is that they are measuring so as not to alter the results.  But in this case I think it makes no sense to worry about whether I am altering Hazel and Pollyanne’s behaviour by being here.  I think it will be impossible not to affect them and so I must observe them and me as part of a unit.  In a way I’m not sure what it is that I am really trying to learn about so I am keeping an open mind and just seeing what pops up.

One of the neighbours wondering what is going on

The first thing that has occurred to me is that Hazel and Pollyanne have spent practically no time interacting with each other.  They are always fairly close to each other but they are not touching each other, or looking for each other or doing anything else by way of interacting.  But it is obvious that they are very aware of each other.  If one of them starts to have a snooze the other will join in very quickly and when one mooches off quite a distance away the other one will follow.  I have been wandering around the field with them, picking some weeds and wondering should I be trying to “connect” with them.  I get the feeling I shouldn’t.  Apart from helping Hazel picking some thistle flowers I haven’t really said much to either of them.  I did lie down with them, but obviously there is no converstation.  So for me this is strange.  This is something that I will be thinking about.  Horses are social animals, but how do they manifest that social nature?  They are certainly different to us humans who need to be chatting all the time.  I don’t want to inflict my need to connect on them too much, I am more interested in how they connect with each other and how they may connect with me over time.

What is evident is that I definitely want to be in the same area as them.  If they wander away and I don’t go after them because I am rooting out a particularly stubborn weed I suddenly feel very alone.  It is painfully obvious that I am the odd one out.  So I am compelled to follow them.  There is a lot of talk about the fact that horses are prey animals and there they go with the safety in numbers thing, but where does that leave me, an apparent predator.  I ain’t happy about being left on my own either.  It isn’t because I am scared, it is just because I don’t want to be on my own while they are at the other end of the field.  It feels wrong.  I wonder is this how they feel.  Are they really living in fear of attack all the time or do they just respond to the desire to share company.  This obviously does improve one’s safety but I need this safety as much as they do.